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Feeling Ostomistic
Wednesday, November 30 2016

When I think back to my teenage years, one thing that was a big part of my life was reading the Dolly magazine.

Not only did it come with the occasional FREEBIE, but the information you learned was second to none... and you can't forget the excitement of tearing open the sealed section as if you were some rebellious girl eager to know what was such a secret, then when you realised you turned red in the face or giggle out of embarrassment.

I started getting Dolly pretty early on, I was 9 when I got my first period and I guess it was more awkward for my parents to have to talk to me about that sort of stuff, so I was given a magazine each month.

There was some pretty helpful articles, awesome competitions, projects to get my craft freak on, as well as Dolly Doctor.

I don't know who Dolly Doctor was, but I always imagined she was the older sister I never had who was cool, collected and held your embarrasing questions under her lock and key. I was thankful to those who wrote in with their issues as I learned a lot, and a couple of times had my questions answered under a guise of course.

I liked reading the embarrassing moments, as it made me feel less awkward and less alone. I remember this one girl wrote in about her horrifying experience of when she wore white pants for the first time and was on a date at the movies when she got her period and her white pants were destroyed.

It taught me that I should keep a record of when my period was due so that I could factor in things like swimming attire, wearing shorts or skirts, or wearing white clothing.

Unfortunately my school dress was white and it was humiliating when I had an accident.

The freebies were sometimes pads and was nice having some you could try out and see what suited me as opposed to wasting money by buying different brands and types.

I remember all the helpful advice received over the years like relationship advice, how to help mend a broken friendship, how to help your acne covered skin, how to make the latest fashion trends, different ways to wear your hair and how to know when to ask for help (mental health or eating disorders etc).

I feel a little saddened for the future teens who won't be able to experience the thrill of flipping through the magazine and tearing open that sealed section. I know there will be a digital version, but the experience won't be the same. Nothing compares to the sounds of flipping a page or the smell of a brand new magazine.

I remember when I was in year 9 my parents wouldn't buy me an issue because we couldn't afford it, so I went to so much effort making my own magazine called 'Rocks Teens' filled with celebrity goss and stories I had written. I even made up my own version of Dolly Doctor 'Dr Rocks' where I made a copy to share with my friends. It was a lot of work but I really wanted to be a writer and loved graphic design even back then.

Dolly, you will always remain a cherised memory of many teenage girls, especially those socially awkward introverts (like me). Thank you for your service for almost 5 decades!!

Posted by: Talya AT 09:48 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Friday, November 25 2016

Earlier this year, I was on a Canteen camp for members aged between 18-25. At 'camp' we not only talk about cancer but Canteen organises various workshops that help to teach us valuable skills, and often skills that we can implement in our lives right away.

Some workshops are about stress management and coping mechanisms, others are about learning to cook healthily on a budget (first time ever making hommus) and the ladies from Newcastle Permanent came to talk about budgeting and to teach us tools to succeed. I really enjoy all this money related.. I love saving money, I love frugal shopping, I love bargain hunting but I also love spreadsheets and budgets (yes I heard you yawn), I really do miss my days working in finance at a bank.

Another workshop we had was about gratitude, creating a gratitude jar and telling people when/whom/why we are thankful; we also talked about what makes you happy and the value of people and memories over materialistic objects.

We were introduced to the Science of Happiness, which was a video where several people were asked to think of someone they are thankful for, to write down why in a letter and then they were asked to ring the person to tell them.

The study concluded that people who were grateful or showed grattitude in their lives were in turn more happier than those who didn't.

I highly reccommend you check out the video on youtube by clicking here, it is such a heartfelt experience... well for me it was anyways.

I have been feeling a little overwhelmed lately with my life and been struggling with facing my mortality at 25, struggling financially, but I also have felt a little lost around my self worth and value. Now, I don't want you to roll your eyes and think I am asking for sympathy or being an attention whore, I'm not trust me, I do have an important message if you keep reading on.

I decided to join some of those blogging groups where you learn how to make a lot of money blogging, kinda regret joining as it has me feeling more pathetic than I was before I joined.

Now blogging for me hasn't always or ever been about the money, I blog because I want to help others so they feel less alone, but then there are costs to running the blog like hosting fees ($30 a month) and sometimes I wished I could find sponsoring to not only help cover the running costs of the blog, but to also give me a little bit of pocket money.

So in this blogging group a coach talked about how if your blog isn't gaining the attention of sponsors or advertisers than you must be doing something wrong and that there is no value in your blog if people aren't wanting to advertise that the readers (you guys) are being sent the message that it isn't worth it.

So you can imagine I felt pretty embarrassed, pathetic and wondered is it worth it all?

So fast forward to this week, where I got an email from a reader who said:
" Hi Talya, I know you don't celebrate thanksgiving but I wanted you to know that this year I am thankful for your blog and for your help you have given me.... Your posts about chemo and an ostomy helped me to be prepared.... I am glad our paths crossed"

I tell you what, I re-read that email several times each time with tears.

I felt pride, self-worth, appreciated and needed in the first time in a long time, and it was something I really needed to hear. While I see so many people reading my blog posts, I never know if anyone gets value out of them or if I am actually helping others. So it made the world of difference being told thank you.

I also realised that money isn't what makes MY blog valuable, it is me.

So it got me thinking just how good it feels to be told genuinely that someone is thankful for you or something you did, and that person also feels happier knowing they have made you happy.

So if there is a blogger who has helped you, please do ocassionally stop by and leave them a comment or an email thanking them, it made such a difference hearing that for me personally and I am sure other bloggers would appreciate it too.

While I have been feeling down lately that I didn't have much of a legacy to leave behind, I realised that this little blog of mine is what I am leaving the world with.

I ask (if you feel inclined to) that if my blog or my writing has helped you or made a difference in your life, please consider treating me to lunch or a mango smoothie by clicking through to my paypal.me account.

 

 

 

 

I am mostly housebound so being able to go out for a nice treat would really help make my day that little bit brighter. Would also help me to feel a little appreciated too.

Posted by: Talya AT 01:53 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Thursday, November 24 2016

I took the plunge this past week, and did something that has been on my bucket list for a while now.

I tried a CRONUT, and it was every bit mouth orgasmic as you would expect. Seriously, if you are in Woolgoolga (NSW) be sure to stop by The Next Phase on the main street for an experience you won't forget in a hurry.

But I did something even more terrifying.

I enrolled in a Diploma of counselling online, not that I have enough going on (cancer, facing mortality and living life).... but when I enrolled, before being accepted, I had to write why I wanted to study counselling.

Long before I was told that my disease is at the end stage, I wanted to study counselling and hoped that one day Feeling Ostomistic would branch out into counselling sessions online (via email, skype) or in person... so when I got my prognosis I made it a personal mission to study it before I cark it.

So there are two reasons why I want to study counselling, and both are pretty important to me:

#1. To help you:
There have been times where a reader has reached out to me needing support. While I am happy giving support through my lived experiences, sometimes I feel that a professional would be a better person to talk to. It has never been that I didn't want to hear you out or help you, but it was more I was worried about not being able to help you properly as I am not equipped with the skill set.

I always feared that I was doing more harm than good. So I wanted to study counselling to help me identify people at risk, people who have a need that they might not realise themselves and to make sure that I have the right tools to help you in your time of need in a way that is empowering, helpful and the right way.

#2. To help my husband:
My husband has Autism, and one thing that he struggles with is change especially suddenly. I have felt so guilty seeing his pain as I have progressively gotten worse, and knowing that I can't fix it is frustrating. But also it worries me that I won't be here (when I die) to help make sure he is okay and looked after.

Russ needs changes to happen over time and to be gradually introduced to the idea. But when it comes to my death which is inevitable, I am struggling to introduce this to him over time. He knows I am unwell and we talk openly about it and my wishes, but it is more after it happens I am concerned about.

So I am studying counselling to help me to learn grief coping techniques that I can teach Russ and help him to identify when he needs to seek help. I feel by at least knowing the tools to help teach him is a great place to start. I just feel so helpless and I worry about him a lot, but I hope that I can really help him.

So that is my two reasons behind enrolling in the course, the online college was pretty impressed with my maturity and selflessness... I really do try to lead as much of a selfless life as possible.

I just always felt my purpose in life was to help others, I just hope I can.

Posted by: Talya AT 11:38 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Monday, November 21 2016

I have never been much of a morning person even before I got sick, and the last year or so I generally don't start my day until later in the Morning.

Moreso lately, my health often sees me in bed until mid afternoon.

So it can be understandable that I might miss the occasional knocks at the front door, especially if I am in a deep sleep, or there's been many times where I have been in pain and tried to jump out of bed (read slowly stagger) to only get to the front door and missed getting to it in time.

It is so FRUSTRATING!

I always thought there should be a doorbell that can connect to your iphone and alert you to when someone is at the door, or better still if you could communicate with them.

So Russ and I in planning our house, we thought about issues like this and considered having an intercom system set up near our bed, but it was looking to be rather expensive.

But alas, imagine our delight when we found a doorbell at our local JB HIFI store that not only allowed us to get push notifications on our phone (providing our phone isn't on silent like last weekend where we didn't realise my mum was outside waiting for over 15 minutes), but also has video and audio too (acting as a video intercom)!

It has been such a help to me since we got the 'ring' doorbell.

Most of the time when I get out of bed my stoma is leaking, so it is rather difficult to try and get to the door in time with a leaking bag. So I have found it helpful when I am dealing with a bag leak or if I am in bed too sore to get up just yet, that when someone rings the doorbell I can see who it is and talk to them.

Often it is the postman with a parcel (not that I shop online a lot, but I get my Xmas shopping out of the way early and online) so it is convenient to say hello and to ask if the parcel needs a signature. I just explain that they can leave the parcel at the door for me and I will collect it when I can get to the door.

I also have spoken with the parcel lady before about having cancer and quote often it takes a moment for me to get to the door.

But it is also good having this doorbell when there is unsolicited doorknockers and I don't have to feel rude for wanting to slam the door in their face. I can just open the Ring app, see who it is and talk to them.

They also have a security camera system available too (we have a couple of cameras set up) where if there is motion in the area you get alerted to it, or you can live stream the video if you are out and want to check up on the house (or the kids) and you can also talk to and hear noises going on.

They are a little expensive, but for the convenience and amount of times it has helped me since we moved in over a month ago is significant. For me it is a tool that is helping me avoid hurting myself getting out of bed in a hurry.... and to give me a little bit of dignity in the mornings too.

DISCLAIMER: This is not a paid or sponsored post, I was not asked to write about the product by the manufacturer or by JB HIFI. I am also not biased on my opinion or experience because it was purchased from my husband's place of employment. I nor my husband receive any benefit by me sharing my experience on this product. This view is purely my own and I am sharing in the hopes that others (like me) who have struggled in the past with trying to get to the door in time, might now have a more convenient solution.

 

 

Posted by: Talya AT 10:40 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
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~  Living with Familial Adenomatous Polyposis - Effects of FAP  ~

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Talya Goding - Feeling Ostomistic   talya@feelingostomistic.com.au  |  0447 426 860

Thank you for stopping by Feeling Ostomistic. It has taken a lot of courage to share my story and I ask that you show me and my site/blog respect and courtesy. Views expressed in this blog are my own and I am not a nurse or a doctor. If you need medical advice please seek your medical practitioner.

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