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Feeling Ostomistic
Monday, August 20 2018

I think this title is appropriate as we were served chicken for dinner at the awards night, sorry just being cheeky.


Me holding my award and framed certificate

On Friday the 17th of August, Russ and I drove up to Brisbane to attend the 2017 Great Comeback awards held by Convatec. I know we are in 2018, but it was 2017 when I applied and so the award is for last year but it is in this year which is confusing, but anyway, I won!

I was 1 out of 5 finalists from Australia and New Zealand.

It was such an honour to have been made a finalist, and I was incredibly shocked and surprised to have found out on the night that it was me who had actually won! There were so many deserving and inspiring finalists who have incredibly powerful stories to tell.

On the night at the awards ceremony, which was held in the brand spanking NEW boutique hotel called Emporium Hotel South Bank (I am dedicating a whole separate blog post to this, so stay tuned), there were video interviews of each of the 5 finalists presented. Each video is around 2 minutes long and consisted of images or videos being added in to share in the impact of the story.

I was in tears watching the videos, then mine, which was last to be presented, had me in a complete blubbering mess. I was so embarrassed as it was MY story and I know this sooooo well so it surprised me that it impacted me the way it did. I assume it was a build up of emotions felt on the night, I was incredibly anxious but I was also very overwhelmed, so once the tears started I couldn't stop.

I am sharing my video to facebook, but it is available on youtube too and will embed it below at the end of this blog post.

Please keep in mind that the original video was 22 minutes long and was chopped down to 2 minutes for the ease of viewing, so a lot of important points I made were missed. I did also thank my friends and family and also those who read my blog and  my tribe who encourage me (you guys), so I don't want anyone to be upset if they didn't hear it mentioned (because it was).

If you have an ostomy, or know someone with an ostomy who has a story to share and have done something inspiring or had a comeback post ostomy life, please let them know about the awards. It could be something like pre ostomy life you were too sick to travel so once you had an ostomy you travelled, could be you returned to work, you did something you have always wanted to do, you started a movement to inspire others, you went back to uni and graduated, or you found yourself and the joy of life from having an ostomy.... or it could be whatever your heart desired that you feel you made a great comeback thanks to your ostomy.... 

The Great Comeback is entirely your own comeback after ostomy life and could be anything, or could be a number of things, it is different for each person.

To apply you need to submit your story via the site, you do need to include certain aspects of your story pertaining to:

  • How life changed or was affected by your/their medical condition and having an ostomy
  • How you/their Comeback was achieved and the positive effects that have resulted
  • The role that others (family members, nurses, surgeons) played in your/their Comeback
  • Any current activities or interests that you/they are now able to enjoy or participate in, and any specific dreams or goals that you/they have accomplished or wish to accomplish in the near future
  • The learnings or advice from your story that others might find beneficial

I wrote my story out first in a word document and then copied/pasted it in the appropriate sections. I used the aforementioned topics as headings for each part of my story.

**Please note: the drop down box doesn't have NSW available to be selected, they are aware but have said to choose any state but write somewhere that you are from NSW. They are in the process of fixing this error up along with updating their site too.

If you have a stoma nurse who is amazing and deserves to be recognised, please nominate them too! 

If you have any issues with your or your stoma nurse nomination, please reach out to convatec directly via email

My video:

I do encourage everyone to apply, the program is a great way to not only share your story but to meet other members of the ostomy community. The awards are all about empowering and inspiring ostomates that there is still a life to be lived and enjoyed after surgery. I had a lovely night, which I will share in more detail in a blog post to come. 

Thank you to Convatec and the judges for choosing me as the 2017 winner and I can't wait to see what is to come.

 

Posted by: Talya AT 12:52 am   |  Permalink   |  Email
Friday, June 15 2018

Today has been a massive day, I have been running around from appointment to appointment between the cancer centre getting my port flushed and bloods checked to getting my long overdue hearing check done. As part of my promise to spend time this year doing things for self care and prioritising me, this appointment was on the list.

I felt rather relieved to have finally had the appointment, moreso for what came next.....

I knew I had hearing loss in my left ear and knew it for a while, part of putting off the appointment to getting them was out of fear for the cost. Ever since I was 18 (2009) when I had the cysts on my brain I noticed hearing loss then, something to do with the pressure in my head, which has only gotten worse over time. Then when I had chemo I noticed with most things about my health, that it deteriorated more, so I feel for my neighbours as the TV is always so loud but I also feel for those I have hurt because they felt I ignored them or the conversation or that I was rude because I sat in silence.

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But today I went and had my test and found out that I was eligible for free government subsidised hearing aids that I needed to pay $45 a year for batteries and servicing.

So today I got fitted and chose the colour and style, then in a fortnight I will get them as they have to be ordered - they will be fitted and I will be shown how to do it myself and then I have them for a fortnight to test run and make sure they will do what I need them to do.

If after a fortnight I am happy with them I accept them and they are mine.

It was a little overwhelming being told that I am eligible for hearing aids, not from a vanity perspective or worried for my looks, but because I can finally hear again and not miss out on conversations or pretend I understand and can follow along.

It gets so exhausting if I go to a family function or a social outing, even just a dinner date with Russ, if there is too much noise I can't hear and it gets tiring trying to focus as well as focus on not being in pain, and I tend to just sit there not saying much and can be labelled as rude, but it is just so so hard.

So I almost cried when I learned that I could be hearing in a matter of a fortnight.

I am hopeful and excited, I have needed this for so long.

I am not upset or worried, I am just grateful for our health system and that there is subsidised hearing aids that don't do fancy things but do just what I need and that is okay, would have loved to have gotten purple but Russ found a colour that would blend in with my ear and hair so won't stand out too much.

So I am okay, I am just grateful for all the new possibilities coming my way.

I learned years ago to never take hearing for granted and have been grateful I still had hearing but was just hard to hear in one ear.

So if ever you felt I was ignoring you or being rude, I most likely just couldn't hear you.

Posted by: Talya AT 11:47 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Sunday, February 04 2018

If you could see me right now, you'd see that I have THE biggest grin on my face. Imagine a Cheshire cat style grin....

Yes, it's that huge!

Why?

I recently got home after a short stint in hospital where on Australia Day I almost died, it has been a rather upsetting and hard fortnight but I am home now and recovering (and catching up on everything).

I am so grateful and acknowledge my own privilege in that I could come home this time, but also that I continue to live for another day.

I was so scared on that Friday as I wasn't ready to die, I had so much I still was yet to achieve and do and finalise. I was scared that I felt things weren't ready and my anxiety since has been sky high, understandably so, worried about when or how close the end actually is - which is looming everyday closer, it is terrifying.

I know I have so much I wanted to achieve and goals I had set both personally and for my blog, which brings us to today's post.

Back when I started my blog 5 years ago I said to myself:
"I want to work hard to help others with their stoma journey, I want to have a blog still valuable in 5 years time and I want to get half a million views and just hope that I have helped at least one person in my time".

So I remember a couple of weeks ago - before I suddenly got sick and went to hospital - I had looked at my site stats as I was updating my media kit for January. It was when I noticed that my blog views were sitting 15k shy of half a mill.

I said to Russ: 
"It would be awesome if for my 5 year blogaversary I hit 500k views and hit 2 big goals in one go!"

I am not writing this as an intended brag post or anything, and I know for some blogs 500k views is their monthly or yearly visit, but I am sharing this as I am feeling incredibly proud as punch right now.

5 years ago I was told I had early stage bowel cancer and was about to undergo surgery to remove my entire large bowel and live the rest of my life with a permanent ileostomy for the rest of my life.

I was scared 

I was alone

But I took a leap of faith and courageously started my blog.

I was worried that people would not be kind or respectful, or that people would be judgemental and rude. I also worried that maybe what I am trying to share wouldn't be read by anyone and wouldn't be providing value or meaning.

I was full of self doubt.

It is quite vulnerable when you put yourself out there and you don't know how this all would work out and how well your blog would be received. Especially given that it is a difficult and personal experience that I was putting myself out there during what is a private time of mine and my husband's life, but I knew that if I shared this openly and what I learned along the way that it could actually be helping someone somewhere. I know it helped me immensely to share this, gave me a sense of purpose.

Back then there weren't many ostomy bloggers, social media (instagram more so) wasn't as huge nor were those publicly sharing life with an ostomy, and ostomy life and living with a bag was such a taboo subject. It felt rather lonely and isolating, felt kind of like it was a dirty little secret and I wanted to try and change that and help the next generation of young ostomates to embrace their lives and stoma.

I had hoped that I could be part of the movement of helping to normalise life with an ostomy and raise awareness of that life as a young person with a stoma is still able and that life won't end.

So with hesitation  I hit publish on that first post and was surprised by what followed.

I was thanked for what I wrote, I found people who respected my writing and it has led to some amazing friendships and I found my tribe and community.

I felt valued, I found self worth and I found that there was a sense of magic in helping others to feel less alone as they navigated their ostomy life or dealing with new diagnosis and what comes next or even in finding themselves again.

I know it is scary and daunting sometimes, but I know how much better it is when you find someone who you can identify and relate to or read something that creates an 'ah ha' moment... I just hope that I have helped others.

My milestone, that I thought back 5 years ago was unrealistic and unattainable but I still held hope and believed in myself and backed myself. I learned a lot in that time not just about life but also about myself.

Thanking you

My blog wouldn't be what it is without you guys, my tribe and cheer squad

Of course me celebrating this moment would be worthless if it weren't for every single one of you who read my blog, support me and my writing and have helped me create a community.

Thank you so much for your support, respect and kindness over this time, but also for your friendship too. Thank you for embracing me and for letting me be myself and helping me at times on my quest to find/discover/remember myself and for reminding me when I had forgotten. 

I want to thank you and show you how much I appreciate you.

I have been looking at ways to celebrate my 5 year blogaversary, reaching half a million views to my blog and being close to 1000 facebook likes. So I am thinking of fun ways to say thank you, so please stay tuned.

What an Ostomistically amazing time it is to be alive!

I am grateful so much for you all and if I have helped you in any way please comment below.

Posted by: Talya AT 12:58 pm   |  Permalink   |  1 Comment  |  Email
Friday, January 12 2018

I know I have chirped on and on (and on) about how we are struggling financially and that I am concerned about when I die and if Russ can manage it on his own. I know you're probably sick of hearing me go on about it, but it honestly is so stressful.

It is hard being on one income, I know it is overwhelming for Russ too.

So last week we got a letter from our bank informing me that as of today (the 12th) our mortgage will be going up $500 a month.

This really scares me.

Not only do I not know where I am going to pluck that extra $500 from this month considering we are already halfway through the month, but that I really am so stressed and upset.

Yes, I acknowledge my priviledge in that we have our own mortgage, but even when we were renting things were hard and the rent assistance really made the world of difference when it came to our budget. But it doesn't mean that things instantly became easier when we got out mortgage. I didn't realise how much harder it was to have your own place.

I see how worried Russ is over this and I know he is on the fritz of losing it as it was before this letter, now he is just even more stressed. I feel so guilty, I know it isn't my fault and that I couldn't help getting sick but it is my age old issue with that I should have gotten life insurance earlier or made more of an effort to do extra super contributions when I worked as it would mean I have more than $3000 in super.... which I am still fighting to get out mind you.

Argh.

That is a fight for another day.

My Solution:

Yesterday I got a copy of Barefoot investor in the mail (thanks to a beautiful friend buying and sending me this copy) and started reading it, I have heard everyone rave about it and how effective it truly is, so it gives me hope for the first time that maybe I can get things under control this year.


So many have raved about the books!

It is one of my goals to get things neater for Russ, I don't know how much time I have and I think it will just be a massive peace of mind to know it is under control.

We have our mortgage, debts, car loan plus our other bills. So I try each year to review things to see if there is savings to be found, so I am hopeful that this book will help me even more.

Plus, it is one of my goals to read more too, so this is already tackling my goals for the year.... maybe this year is getting off to a stressful start but it might be turning around? Always hopeful that things will get better, surely they have to?

A friend has put me in touch with a broker and hoping we can find a new bank with a better rate and can consolidate our debt which will mean freeing up a lot of weekly expenditure and might mean we can afford to start saving.

So tell me, have you read the book? Did it help you? What was the biggest take away you had from it?

I will let you know when I have finished reading it and what progress I make.... until then, wish me luck!

We also got Solar Panels on recently, they had a 5 year interest free offer, so we are really hoping that on our next bill we can see a difference, otherwise I am going to be rather upset. Russ assures me we will be better off and that it will improve the value of our home too. Do you have solar panels and do you see a difference? Next bill is March, so will let you know if there were savings to be had.

As always, thank you for listening and wish me luck as I tackle this mammoth task!

What goals are you hoping to tackle this year?

 

Posted by: Talya AT 07:35 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Saturday, September 23 2017

June last year (2016), I was told I had approx 12 months to live. I then wrote a bucket list of experiences and achievements I want to do and started working my way through it all. I had so much fun living and loving life that the 12 months became a blur. It took me to learn I was dying to really start living life, ironic hey.

One thing I have always wanted was a tattoo, it was more working up the courage to do but also finding something that resonated so deeply to me. Having struggled to feel this conntectedness between ideas, I thought I might best get something custom drawn.

I approached an artist Tasha from Jubly Umph that I loved her work and asked her to create something for me that is so personal and is something that I could continue to feel inspired by everyday. She began working on sketches for me and after some tweaks we had the perfect drawing.

I was so excited when Tasha asked me to write a guest post about my experience for her blog, you can read it here. I talk about my inspiration behind the design and why a tattoo was something that meant so much to me.

When it was my birthday back in March I had some family and friends gift me money with the specific intentions it be used on a tattoo. One of my gorgeous friends Bee gave me an envelope that said "open on the day you go to have your tattoo done" and inside was some cash, I thought it was the sweetest and thoughtful gift.

So the day before I had my tattoo done I got a call to say there was an opening for the next day, I was pretty excited and incredibly nervous. Russ came with me and I am so glad that he did.

My tattooist Megan - turns out is my stoma nurses daughter, what a small world! 

I had been researching her studio and work for months, then one day I was in talking to my florist about my birthday the flower crown workshops and I bumped into Megan she gave me her card and I realised who she was and kind of strangely fangirled as her work is so good. So I had complete faith in her work, I was just nervous as I didn't know if it would hurt or not!

The day for the tattoo came, I chose to get the top of my arm done as it is a big design but also so on my bad days I can be laying on my other side and see it and be reminded of my strength.


The blank canvas

A stencil was made of the design and placed on my arm to check for placement before the outlines were done, but also to check if the scale and size was big enough. We did this a couple of times as the positioning was off, only because of a mole and scars Megan realised she could work these into my tattoo design.


The stencil the second time round

Now came the outlines, it didn't hurt as much as I thought, just like scratching really. The outline was finished, I got up to stretch my legs and to have some pain meds as I was sore from tumour pain before jumping back in the chair. I remember feeling so proud and excited! I felt on top of the world!


So proud!

Now came the next part, the colour! 

BOY DID IT FREAKING HURT!

I was doing okay until about a third of the way through and I was just bawling my eyes out. Russ was standing next to me holding my hand and I was a blubbering mess.


See! Blubbering mess, but I felt so proud at this point.

I now understand why you get it done in stages, I just felt like I was buff but I felt like a sook and was so embarrassed that I must look weak. I left and got in the car and just cried and sobbed, it hurt for a week or so afterwards too. 

Best thing to help soothe the itch is this ointment from Woolworths called Dr Pickle, it really helped to moisturise it when it was dry and helped to fight the urge to itch it too. 


Comparison of the tattoo and the artwork!

I was really happy with the tattoo and the artist really did an amazing job at bringing the artwork to life. If you wanted to see more of Megan's work you can find her on Instagram under @meganlouisebucks

It has now been 5 months and the tattoo is looking so good!

I have had a lot of compliments on it, have had a few opinions from others but at the end of the day what I choose to do with my body is my own choice and when people get too judgey I just fired back with "I am dying so who really cares HOW I choose to live out my life, STFU". I am so over comments telling me how I should live out my days. I am only trying to do what makes me happy and to squeeze a lifetimes worth of experiences into the matter of months and days, so I am doing my best.

One shop I went into the salesguy was telling me how trashy I was because I had a tattoo and asking Russ what he thought about his wife ruining her body like that and how it reflects on him, Russ was pretty great and had my back but it took so much strength to not punch him in the face. Like seriously, how does me having a tattoo affect my ability to be a customer. Do you want my sale or not? 

I did hear comments like "your dad would be so disappointed in you and would be rolling over in his grave, if he were alive he would disown you". That one comment stung though, but I do like to think that if dad were watching from wherever he may be that he would be proud of me for choosing myself and for choosing to do things that made me happy, I would like to think that he understood out of anyone how hard it is to go on living your life knowing that anyday it could end, I would like to think that no matter how I lived my life in my final months that he would proud of the person I have tried to be... I always put everyone else before myself, so I wanted my bucketlist to be about me and doing things I wanted to do.

Before 12 months ago I didn't really feel that I had any idea or sense of who I was as a person, I do feel that I am starting to find myself and finding how amazing life is when you stop and look around.

It took me dying to realise just how beautiful life really is.

But my tattoo has become a reminder for myself that I am a badass and that I am strong, on my worst days I need this reminder, some days I need to know that beneath all these health issues there is still a young 26 year old woman trying to hold on.

Guest post on my tattoo story 
Design by Jubly Umph Facebook @jublyumphart Instagram @jublyumph
Tattoo was by Megan from Absolute Tattoo Instagram @MeganLouiseBucks  
Tattoo Studio: Absolute Tattoo Woolgoolga

Do you have a tattoo? Was there a meaning behind it?

 

Posted by: Talya AT 10:19 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Thursday, September 21 2017

This is not a sponsored post, we purchased the car using finance through the car yard, not a brag post either just celebrating a milestone I never thought I would be alive to see.

A year ago today I experienced 3 things I never thought I would ever live to experience such as purchasing a new car with a big red bow on it or even buying my dream car of a Hyundai ix35...

One was also driving a car again. 18 months earlier I was unable to drive a car due to a large rockmelon sized tumour that sat under my stoma, As the steering wheel already sat on my stoma and stomach already it was near impossible to drive safely or comfortably. Then I got the PICC line in and that made things difficult, then surgery and chemo again I really wasn't up for driving at all. Plus everytime I drove it was painful as I felt every bump in our old car.

So imagine how excited I was to drive again!


Our new car 12 months to date, click here to read about why we got a new car

It was great timing too as we had just moved out of town Russ needed to take the car to Coffs for work and I was stranded at home without a way of getting to the shops or doctors/hospital if I needed to, so a second car came in handy at times.

I don't think I could have lived and experienced as much as I have this past year without this car, this was one of the best decisions we have made. Yes we were struggling week to week drowning in all the debt, but the car gave me so many memories and opportunities to get out more.

This car has seen so many adventures and so many conversations, and many games of i-spy. We started our own game versions including "name all the different types of wood" and "name all the different names for water" and so many other nerdy variants of I-spy. Russ even compiled a playlist on his phone of perfect Talya and Russ road trip songs.


Road trip time with my trusty Batman suitcase!

I never realised a car could help me to live life as much as this new car has, being higher off the ground it is a lot easier for me to get in, as it is also higher it is easier for Russ to get the wheelchair in/out so he is more inclined to want to go out. 

The car even has butt warmers, these help to keep my back and bottom warm which helps with pain, stiffness and inflammation. I only discovered this 2 months ago and would have made all the long road trips and day outings better if I knew earlier!

I have been to Sydney 3 times on bucketlist adventures for the Dixie Chicks, Royal Easter Show and Vivid. We never would have gone to Sydney via road if it weren't for this car, our old car wouldn't have made it and only option would have been to catch the train which is double the time. 

This car has brought so many beautiful memories and I look forward to more with Russ thanks to Betty our ix35.

Posted by: Talya AT 12:16 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Saturday, September 16 2017

Is it only me who feels like the last year has been a complete blur? I know this is how it feels for me! I started writing this post back in 2015, then wrote more a year ago but only now have I finished it. I know it is long, I am sorry, but excitedly it was something that took time to write and unfold. I am not writing this as a brag post, merely sharing the process and how we got to building.

12 months ago we got given the keys to our first home... I remember this day so well, as if it were only yesterday. Gosh, that year has gone so fast, crazy!

12 months ago I didn't even think I would be here a year on to celebrate!


The day we finally moved into our first house after years of hope for this day! I was so, so happy and proud too!

We finally were getting our house, a house that we worked hard and sacrificed over years to get, the house that I thought I wouldn't be alive to see. It was a massive goal and dream of mine (well, ours) to have our own home.

I know a lot of people have judged us for "not really doing it hard " when we were able to build a house and loved making up rumours that we were rich, but we weren't and aren't flushed with cash by any means at all. We saved and sacrificed and worked hard over years to get our own home and we had our fair share of setpacks and hardships during those years, but we never gave up hope.

I have copped a lot of flack on my blog and my facebook page about building and buying our house, I have been told I am a fraud, I have been on the end of horrible jealousy and judgement when inviting people into our home.

While I acknowledge that yes I am fortunate to have my own house, I really don't deserve the vitriol and to be made to feel ashamed of having my house or that I could achieve something that I have always dreamed of doing which was to be a first home owner.

I acknowledge that it is very unaffordable to live in places such as Sydney or Melbourne or Brisbane and it is harder for first home buyers to afford their own house. We live in an area of rural NSW where house prices are a fraction compared with those in the bigger cities.

So this is not a brag post in anyway, it is a post that showed our story to how we remained hopeful that one day we would be lucky enough to be home owners. A story of how we eventually got to something we talked about for years. A story that I want to share of our house and how it came to be....

It was cheaper to build a house than buy one, but it doesn't mean we aren't still struggling each week to make ends meet. I still don't have any life insurance and still haven't gotten my super out, we are still drowning in over $15k in credit card debt. 

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But out decision to have our own house came down to several factors:
Interest rates were low and affordable - could coast around same to rent as it was to own our own place;
we wanted to secure our own house before the market is too unaffordable to us;
we were sick of paying off someone else's mortgage paid over $150k in rent in our last house;
✘ we wanted to move out of Coffs, to settle down and build our future we dreamed of;
we were sick of rental inspections which are inconvenient especially when you are sick and dying;
we wanted to stop renting and feel like we have something to show for our life;
we were worried about having to suddenly move at a moment's notice, especially if I was on my death bed;
we wanted a pet, I needed company and Russ too when I died;
we no longer felt safe where we lived, so we wanted to move;
I wanted to live in my own house somewhere I could make a home;
✘ It was always a dream that I could have my own place and host Xmas lunch;
I needed stability;
✘ It would be a dream come true and massive bucket list goal too!


The text I got from Russ the day we got the keys! Aww cute as!

How we got here:

We would apply for a homeloan every 6 or so months since early 2010 and usually would be declined and told to come back again in 6 months and try again.

We were fortunate that with Russell's income, we had worked off some of our debts to look more appealing, the little we had saved over the years and the low interest rates meant that the banks were willing to offer us a homeloan, we weren't even expecting a yes that day, I remember we went home and we cried and hugged for hours that FINALLY we could be getting our own place.

It was a dream come true, really!

But for what we needed there wasn't anything in our budget that didn't require a lot of work and rennovations which was money and stress we couldn't afford. Also, because Russ was still on his L plates or his learner's license we were more or less confined to living within walking or riding distance to work, which limited the area we could look at.

We also wanted a house that was:
flat levelled;
in a nice neighbourhood;
with a garage (double preferred);
a seperate lounge to the kitchen/dining;
a nice generous bathroom with a wide shower that could fit my shower chair plus the room for someone when assisting me, plus a bath for Russ (bonus points if it were a spa);
a toilet that was spacious in the room around/in front that I could put a little shelf or table in front to help with bag changes;
at least 3 bedrooms so 1 could be a study/craft room and 1 a guest room;
easy to maintain yard;
aircon;
and be NBN ready.

If we were lucky  to find something that ticked most of the boxes it still needed a lot of work done.

I know it sounds like surely a lot of places would easily  fit our budget, but with only a budget of $350-390k our options really were limited to:
areas that had high crime rates;
where insurance prices were sky high;
areas prone to flooding;
or even a unit where we couldn't have a pet (I longed for a little companion to keep me company)
✘ one place we were almost considering buying the strata was over $12,000 for the year. 

Deciding to build over buying an established house:


When we first got our keys! Proud hubby!

We had mostly given up all hope of having our own home, then the bank manager said these 5 words: "have you thought about building?" and it changed everything. Yes, we had thought about building and No, we didn't think it were possible based on quotes we had years ago the house cost more than our entire budget!

We had always hoped to move out of Coffs at some point and preferably would move to Woolgoolga. We had always felt Woopi felt more like home for us and Coffs was just far too busy, noisy and crowded for our likes. It was close enough to Coffs if we needed doctors or work but far enough away. It is only around 20km north of Coffs Harbour.

When we looked into land, stand alone house costs to build or house and land packages in Woolgoolga (and surrounds) we noticed that the land outside of Woopi in older beachside towns/suburbs was cheaper too approx $200-300k difference in price than in Woopi but only 5km away.

Russ was keen on the move too and I told him he wouldn't move until he had his P's, so he became more committed and took up driving lessons and actually would drive most places to get his confidence up. Excitedly he got his P's first go in June last year (2016), I cried tears of joy and relief and was so proud... been a big year for milestones for us both!

We found this perfect house and land package that fitted our budget perfectly that we drove out to Woolgoolga that next day to enquire. We got to the real estate office and told that the contracts were exchanged earlier that day and that it was now off the market.

I felt a bit bummed out, it was the last available block in the estate, I felt like the hope I had for our future was gone.

But, alas, there was hope again:

On the drive back to home (Coffs) I called into the display home for the builder the earlier package was from and wandered inside. I told the salesman we were interested in the property that was sold earlier that day and if he knew of any other developments coming up that we could secure something early to avoid missing out again.

He replied: "I think I have something for you", feeling hope returning he ushered us to have a seat at his desk. He pulled out the estate plans and circled LOT 14, he said "a block has just become available today after a couple pulled out due to finance falling through, it is double the size of the one you were keen on for a fraction of the price. It is in the first stage release and building can commence in the New Year". 

I was so surprised when the builder said the house could be built for $235k! I almost fell off my chair. It included rendering the house and we opted to get airconditioning installed post build as we ran out of money in the budget initially. We had to pay for extras like fencing, tiles on the outside patio, landscaping, turf etc.

It was 16 September 2015, (year to date later we got the keys and moved in) I was due to start chemo in the coming weeks and not knowing how long I had to live, we wanted to do whatever it took to secure this block and start the build, so we could move in the following year and thus ticking off another life goal of ours.

I looked at Russ and asked him if it felt right with him and he was definitely keen, so keen he handed me his credit card. We handed over the deposit they needed which was only $1k - and we just put it on the credit card so we didn't miss out.... and so the process began!

I think the sales person thought I was nuts for opting to build a house while undergoing chemo.

But you know what, I think the build was the one thing that helped me to get through chemo - knowing there was something so exciting to look forward to- it became the best part of my week driving out to check the house progress. 


First day the walls started going up!


Progress - Bricks stage!


Our house almost there just driveway to go

Which brings us to 12 months ago today!

The house was 3 months behind schedule which meant that it was 3 additional months we hadn't quite budgeted for with the additional rent and were struggling. We were paying rent of $375 a week plus the mortgage on a house we weren't even living in, and I was so stressed trying to pay all the bills and afford to eat that we added everything to the credit cards (which we are now drowning in debt to repay and get on our feet).

But the day for final inspection and key handover was finally here, after being pushed back weeks and even days that same week, Friday September 16th had arrived!

We had to be out at the house by 7am sharp ready to do the handover, Russ was having to leave for work by 8am and our furniture pieces (spare bed, lounge and outdoor setting) were due to be delivered at 8am too, the fridge and dishwasher would arrive at some point that morning too. It was absolutley pouring, so much rain and very wet and muddy.

When Russ left, it was just me at the house all day without a car as he took the car to work. I remember just walking around the house all day just feeling so surreal that this was actually ours. Everything looked so new and shiny and was too perfect to live in, I was scared to make a mess. That new house smell too, it felt like I were on holidays.

The builder gifted us a picnic hamper and wine, which came in handy as we hadn't thought as far ahead about plates/cups/cutlery! Was a very thoughtful and unexpected gift.

Wasn't long and I scratched the wall and the place felt like home.

Our first night in our own home:

That night we ate pizza out the back on the patio on the new outdoor setting (was our only table setting for a fortnight) using the picnic hamper the builder left as a gift for us, and we toasted to our first night in our house drinking homebrand pineapple fizzy!


*clink*

We slept on the spare bed that had arrived earlier that day and I never stepped foot in the old house again.

Never have I ever felt more at home before, but here I feel so happy and we truly love it here. It is so quiet compared to where we lived which was on the highway in Coffs Harbour at one of the busiest traffic intersections.

I feel healthier in this house too, which sounds strange to say as I am dying from cancer. But, the old house I think was making me sicker than I was already as the house leaked/flooded everytime it rained, normally in winter I struggled to breathe and my asthma is horrid - this winter I wasn't in hospital once! It is normally my second home in winter as I can't breathe. Could be there isn't the added pollutants of the traffic too here.

We just love it here!

It is only 17 minutes for Russ to drive to work of a morning and after he got used to the routine of driving of a morning instead of just walking or riding his bike he was fine. He is a lot happier here too.

Woolgoolga was where Russ called home for most of his life, he said it feels great being back.

The town is so welcoming and kind, everyone is always saying hi and smiling, kids you hear laughing and playing in their backyards, they too seem happy which makes you happy too knowing others are happy. 

But the 5 best things about finally having our own home is:
 I have my beautiful koi pond and garden;
 I am blessed with Dusty our furbaby;
 I can sit outside and it is peaceful and not horribly loud from the traffic comapred at our old place plus there isn't all the soot either ;
 I can finally hang up photos on the wall;
 
and last but not least
✔ I feel at home, I feel safe and I feel content.


Love the kitchen, doors are soft close too!


My perfect accessible ensuite, handheld shower head and spacious

It was a long road to get here, so many times we almost gave up along the way thinking that it would never happen. Never give up on a dream.

I had some people when we said we were going to build say to me "but you're dying, what is the point really?". How I saw it, was that no matter what my prognosis is, Russ still needs somewhere to live.... but why should I give up hope on seeing a dream I have always hoped to come true just because I won't have a long life. I know it is hard at times to understand why, but everyday that I am alive I want to live a life I love and that I am proud of... just because I am dying doesn't mean I stop wanting to live or to achieve my heart's desires... dying just made me want to move a lot of things along earlier than expected.

Please keep an eye out for more posts I am writing, I am catching up on over a years worth of posts. But if you want to ask advice and you haven't been able to find it on my blog feel free to contact me or check out my facebook page too as I often blog on there too.

P.s if you read this far, thank you! Russ and I are working on some more posts about the build and advice for others just lessons we learned along the way, so keep an eye out!

Posted by: Talya AT 10:14 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Sunday, August 13 2017

It is hard to believe that it is almost 12 months since we have moved into our new house! 


Top = today a year ago; bottom = recent picture before the birds of paradise
were planted under the window shown. Behind the fence is my koi pond!

I have been so busy trying to live and love life, plus enjoying the good days, that we haven't yet completed unpacking our house and we have so much left to do. This has had me feeling rather disappointed in myself as I was really hoping to have had the house set up and finished by now. So while we have nothing planned for the next few months, I really want to focus on finishing the unpacking and working on styling the house.

Having a beautifully styled house that I am proud of is one of the things I wanted to tick off my bucket list!

The first room I want to finish is our master suite (bedroom and ensuite). I spend so much time in my bed, bedroom and ensuite, that for me it is my most used/lived in space. I really wanted the room to make me feel happy, safe, comfortable, relaxed and proud; but more importantly, I want others visiting me to feel the same sense of comfort.

I had hoped by now to be able to have afforded a full room makeover, or to be on our feet financially for that matter. We have been adding pieces to the room as our budget has allowed us over the last year, but we still have a way to go. I love a good bargain and hunting for things
on sale. I also like to use my phone or laptop to browse and compare different products/prices online. We don't have a lot of money so I need to ensure that our money is well spent.

Russ thought it would be a good idea to perhaps write a blog post as a wishlist of what we want to achieve so that in a way we can hold ourselves accountable for ticking off this goal of finishing the house, and especially our room.
 
So, this is the accountability post for completing my master bedroom and my wish list for the tropical styled things I want in it.

I promise to do an 'after' or finished/completed type post, otherwise I will share the gradual progress on social media until then!

With spending so much of my time in bed, or unable to get out to shop in person, a lot of that time is spent just browsing sites to get a clearer picture of styling/product ideas. It is always nice when companies have a good online store with stock updates that are timely and reliable. If they have social media too you can see how other customers are using their products to style and get ideas from actual users of the products. I know I browse through Fantastic Furniture and Pillow Talk online all the time (as they are two stores close to where I live), always keeping an eye out for sales or new stock. I have a few other sites that I regularly do the rounds to check for the latest products, styling ideas or latest sales (I wish the reject shop had an online store), it really does help to pass the time when you are otherwise stuck in bed.

Another way to pass the time and find inspiration is Pinterest! I only hope I can create and style a Pinterest or Instagram worthy house on a budget!

Why tropical?
I wanted to choose a tropical styling for my room as it could be a way of adding my favourite things: timber, cool white, actual greenery and more vibrant colours without these elements being too overpowering or clashing with each other. I love birds of paradise and grew up with a frangipani themed room, so tropical has always been rooted in my core. We have birds of paradise in one of our bedroom windows as well as a frangipani tree in the garden we can access via our master ensuite. A tropical room has always been a dream of mine!

Quilt:
I really wanted a quilt that was bright, fun and certain to help lift my spirits on days where I'm struggling. I wanted it to be a way to motivate me each day - 12 months on and this quilt still does all that.... I purchased the quilt from Pillow Talk (it is now unavailable) before we moved house, along with the matching print on the wall (see below). I used these two items to start my tropical themed room. I know it isn't traditionally tropical but it is as I say "contemporary tropical" or that's how I've interpreted it. The quilt means I can add pops of colours into the room without seeming untethered to the core concept.

 
My beautiful, fun, bright and happy quilt from Pillow Talk & my bed

I am hoping the quilt isn't the reason the styling of the room falls apart, so I am hoping I can make it work to pull it off! I really love this quilt especially as on the reverse side it has this nice aqua colour + it matches with my purple (fave colour) sheets, so not sure if I want to part with it. However, if necessary to better the room then I might, but it makes me feel so happy and that is my priority!

Were I to change quilt covers if I felt it (the above quilt) really wasn't a fit, I have found some others from Pillow Talk and Spotlight that I have pictured below. It is so hard to choose what one I like the most, so these are my top 10! Pics to the left are from Pillow talk and pics to the right are from spotlight respectively.


Again not sponsored, these are just my favourite choices.

Bed:
I absolutely love my bed (pictured above)!

We purchased it back in 2012 from Beds R'Us and it was looking amazing until Dusty recently decided it was in fact his clawing post (I cried, it was heartbreaking to see/hear). I had thought about upgrading our bed but my heart is too set on it. It is a king size; it is leather which is easy to clean; it is white which means ANY quilt cover looks great and that it can be suited to any theme; it is the right height for me and doesn't hurt to get in and out of like our timber bed before; and besides, it looks so elegant too!

I know Russ has thought about upgrading our king bed maybe after I die, he feels it is too pretty for a guy and too hard to keep clean because it is white, not that he wants to remove my existence from our home- just he might feel like a change, who knows? If he/we did upgrade this is one that he has his heart set on. 

I know he likes timber beds a lot (we have 2 timber beds in the spare rooms, one was his from when he was a bachelor up until we upgraded to our white bed). We were looking around Coffs recently at the different options of tropical-esque furniture and he decided he really likes the 'Toronto King Bed' from Fantastic Furniture


Toronto King Bed plus bedroom package suite from Fantastic Furniture

Something to note is it is made from Acacia wood sourced from sustainably grown plantations (which is a tick from us as we try to be environmentally conscious), but the beauty of this timber is that it would beautifully match a tropical themed room! It is a bargain at $799 with 6 years warranty too (I think Russ is all for extending our warranties from his job as a salesman), as opposed to the $3500 we paid for our current bed, so if we/he upgraded it is a nice and affordable option indeed. Felt pretty solid too.

TV Stand:
Russ had said 11 months ago that he would organise some mates to come help him mount the TV in our bedroom, I hate being a nagging wife, but sometimes nothing would get done if I didn't keep asking. Most of the time I think he isn't listening but then some days he surprises me.... like last week. 

I have been wanting the TV set up in our room so that I could watch Netflix, a movie or catch up on missed TV shows. I'm not well enough to sit out of bed for long most days, so having the TV in the room would help. I am struggling typing or holding my phone and iPad the last few months, the nerve damage from chemo and the tumours are making it painful to touch things. I try to use my iPad but it is frustrating sometimes at how small the screen is or at the lack of sound (remembering I am deaf in one ear) so it makes sense to set up the TV where I can see it comfortably.

So Russ one afternoon last week told me to stay in the lounge room as he had a surprise planned... surprise (see picture below)! He had set the TV up on top of some cheap/flimsy bookshelf from the shed. Doofus! I loved the sentiment, but I am so worried as Dusty is a climber who likes jumping on shelves. But it has been great the past week enjoying TV from the comforts of my own bed!

We have been looking into options to put the TV on. It needs to be at a height of 900mm or higher due to laying in bed and not having a clear view if any lower.

So we have found two options: We thought that a chest of drawers would give the best height plus allow for additional storage. Russ wants the tall 4 drawer as it is 150mm taller than our current set up, but aesthetically I think the 6 draw would look and fit the space better - though it is 100mm less (but TV is awkwardly watchable). The two we like are in the Toronto range from Fantastic Furniture and there is only a $100 price difference. I can't decide, but once we do we will enquire into layby options to pay it off over a set period which makes it more affordable. I know $599 or $699 respectively might not seem like a lot - but it is for us when there isn't a lot in the bank.

Chair:
I always felt awkward on days where I was bed ridden and loved ones or palliative care nurses were visiting me. They were always either standing around or sitting on the bed next to me. A friend flew up from Sydney for my birthday and while she was here I was in bed with so much pain that I was unable to get up. I ended up having to text her to say "help yourself to the kitchen" so she came in and she layed herself down beside me, we just chatted for hours (it reminded me of sleepovers from the good ol' days). But I knew we needed to organise a chair sooner rather than later. So a chair was top priroty on our list of room additions.

We needed to get a cupboard for the hallway (can never have enough storage) and Super Amart had a 'buy one get 2nd item half price', so we only paid $225 for the armchair (it all went on our G.E. interest free card)! It is the 'James' and is the same as the lounges in the living room and it is wide enough so I can sit in it comfortably - if I want to sit and read, it has big arms and is really spacious. Russ often sits there reading a book while I am sleeping, especially on my bad days, so that he can watch over me and feel he is close by. Dusty also has claimed the chair as his, so just like every other part of the house this was business-as- usual.


As a family we all love this chair!

The chair for us was a must have for the future too. There will come a point when I am declining in my health and I want people to visit me and be comfortable. Russ tells me that it is 'typical Talya behaviour - always thinking of others needs', but all I want is for people to want to visit. It is a fear that I will be dying and be alone and I don't want to die not knowing that I am loved. So this chair is important and it gets used often.

Bedside tables:
I currently have 2 x white wooden bedsides I got from Fantastic Furniture way back in 2011 that still look in new condition. I like that these are timeless and can go with any trend/style and are sturdy. With a big cupboard space I have put baskets in there filled with medications and syringe safety bins for my Clexane injections. So keeping these and using them will save on costs, which is always nice when you're styling a room on a budget.

Wall Decor:
I have one framed print of a birds of paradise that matches the quilt (pictured below), but with so many walls still bare in my room it can be mistaken as being clinical. I want to get some wooden shelving, cubes or hexagons to make a wall feature which doubles as storage to have some plants around the room and to hold other little nick-nacks.


Birds of Paradise framed print from pillow talk

When we were in Fantastic Furniture recently I stumbled across this flamingo canvas artwork (below) that has all the colours of my quilt and is keeping in with the contemporary tropical theme, Russ really liked it too, so we are hoping to get it when we can afford it. It wasn't much, around $49 from memory.

I also enlisted the help of Foote and Flame to cut out some bamboo shapes of different tropical leaves so that I can hang these around my room and make an art piece from it. I also found some cheap tropical leaves in Kmart for $3 in various sizes and styles too. I know pillow talk have some too. I am hoping on the next day Russ has off to look at placement of the wooden and artificial leaves. 

Nick-nacks:
I have been keeping an eye out over the last year for different tropical themed pieces or even nice wooden decor, and trying to nab a good bargain. I have my eye on some timber framed artwork, some timber pineapple frames and other odds and ends like fake succulents. I really want to have some fake plants around the room to fill the spaces (My thumbs aren't green and Russ is not always home). 

I know we are trying to fit a lot into such a small space and I do hope that in the end it all looks as homey and relaxing as it does in my head. I am hoping now that I have written this that it holds Russ and I accountable for getting our house sorted. I know 12 months ago I didn't think I would still be here today and I know the outlook isn't too great for the next year, but I just really want to feel calm knowing my house is in order.... literally and figuratively! I want to not feel anxious over if I have done enough or if people are judging me.

I am really wanting my room to be my tropical escape as I won't have the ability to travel there myself I want to bring it to me.

I am also not an interior designer or stylist, so I don't know if the mood board I have in my noggin' is going to work, I will just have to see won't I!

If you know of any tropical themed wares over the coming weeks and months feel free to let me know so I can check them out. I am really wanting to have my room finished by Christmas/New Year at the latest. Plenty of time I know, but if the last 12 months have taught me anything it is that Russ is a snail (when it comes to getting things done) and time certainly does flies by!

So tell me, do you have a themed/styled room or house? Which room of your house is your favourite?
Comment below or join the conversation on Instagram or Facebook search @feelingostomistic or twitter @feel_ostomistic

Posted by: Talya AT 08:15 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
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~  Living with Familial Adenomatous Polyposis - Effects of FAP  ~

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Talya Goding - Feeling Ostomistic   talya@feelingostomistic.com.au  |  0447 426 860

Thank you for stopping by Feeling Ostomistic. It has taken a lot of courage to share my story and I ask that you show me and my site/blog respect and courtesy. Views expressed in this blog are my own and I am not a nurse or a doctor. If you need medical advice please seek your medical practitioner.

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