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Feeling Ostomistic
Wednesday, October 04 2017

“Be the change you wish to see in the world”

– Gandhi

We all know that at some point our lives will end, but what we do in our life and how we live could be a legacy that we are leaving that would continue to live on well after we have died.

It is hard at times knowing that my end is coming, given my terminal prognosis and that I am living with the knowledge that I could have 6-12months. I do know that a year ago I didn't think I would still be here, but I am. So I am making the most of every single day.

However, leaving a legacy is at the forefront of my mind.

Everyday I wonder: "will I be forgotten?"
Every time I see my nephew who barely knows me, I wonder: "will he live life not knowing who I am?"
Everyday I wonder: "was there some lesson learned from all this?"

I have so many thoughts racing through my mind every minute of the day, these are just some.

One thing that I worry though is if my life meant anything or if I mattered... it might sound like a strange thing to think about or it might sound like a self-centred narcissistic thing, but it is hard somedays wondering "why me?"

So leaving a legacy and living a life that I am truly proud of is something of importance to me

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One thing that I have known and believed since I was a teenager was that I had a purpose in life and that was: "to make a difference or to change one person's life", so I have tried to live life with this desire to help behind every action - including my blog and magazine.

I was pretty excited to have been asked by Share the Dignity to write about legacies and living a life with a purpose. This is a piece I offered up as a volunteer contribution (I was not paid or incentivised in any way), this is a charity I have been passionate about supporting for the last couple of years and one that I know how important/needed their work is.

If you would like to read my article click here. (Feel free to leave a comment if it has helped you or if you liked it)

If you would like to find out more about Share the Dignity, click here.

Share the Dignity have their annual It's in the bag campaign coming up where people are asked to donate a handbag or backpack that is in good condition and fill it with items such as pads, tampons, toiletries and more. To learn more click here...

Being a Volunteer, despite being terminally ill:
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Last year I did two backpacks for teenage girls and filled with items I had collected since the Xmas prior. To find out about how I put together 2 bags on a budget, click here.


The bag and all the contents that surprisingly just managed to fit

I decided to sign up as a volunteer and collect the bags and deliver to the respective charities in the area. At one point I had over 300 handbags in my house. Two guest bedrooms were chock-a-block full of handbags and backpacks and there were a trail from the front door leading through the house!

It was an incredible experience and very overwhelming, only that I struggled with energy and pain and couldn't carry much so Russ stepped up for me and helped to deliver everything. Russ also helped me to check each bag for all the essentials and make sure that each bag had pads etc.

I was pretty proud of the work from our community.

Russ and I were delivering bags to a youth refuge and the owner/manager was in tears. One of the girls came out and helped Russ and I carry the bags and she said: " Thank you for doing this, you have no idea how much it means to me to know that strangers do care, that someone believes in me".

Another charity we were delivering to (was our 2nd delivery there that day as the car only fits so many bags) came running out of the charity as she had just received her bag and she hugged me and was crying and said "this were the best gift she had ever received". 

I am so happy that an incredible organisation that is Share the Dignity exists, I wish I could have done more to help but I donate pads when I can to their April and August drives and the #itsinthebag. I love that Russ got involved and was a champ in helping me last year, sadly I am not in good enough health to volunteer for a second year but I am trying my best to get a bag together when I can.

I know there were times in my life where pads were a luxury and it meant going without food, it is no exaggeration at all, I am not ashamed of that point in my life I was simply trying my best, but do consider in your next grocery shop to grab a packet of pads/tampons and keep aside for the #itsinthebag campaign, even if you can't afford to do a bag but can donate pads that would be incredibly appreciated and it does make a difference.

If you were interested in volunteering for the it's in the bag campaigns click here, it truly was a hard yet rewarding experience. Or if you can't collect the bags consider offering your workplace as a collection point!

There are always opportunities all around us to help make a difference to someone else's life.

I know that even if you think it is a small act of kindness and that it wouldn't be noticed, it could in fact be a huge thing to that person and be the reason that hope is restored.

Posted by: Talya AT 08:05 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Sunday, October 23 2016

National Bandanna Day is coming up, and is this Friday the 28th of October. It is a day where people nationwide are encouraged to purchase and wear bandannas with the proceeds raised to support a charity called Canteen. You can read about the work they do by clicking here, or to read how Canteen has helped me personally, click here.

In the lead up to National Bandanna Day, I was approached by Canteen to be an ambassador (always wanted to be one) and talk about my cancer story and how canteen has helped me with various media outlets.

One of these outlets was a local ABC radio station, and I had always wanted to be interviewed on radio so I jumped at the chance.

Russ, my husband, was present with me the entire time I spoke and after I ended the call he praised me for how articulate I sounded and that he was proud of me.

I was a little nervous, but I made sure I was prepared.

I thought I would share 7 tips that helped me to stay calm and level headed during my radio interview, and I hope that they too help you.

#1. Find somewhere quiet to sit
My radio interview was done over the phone as opposed to meeting in the studio, so it was important that I had somewhere quiet to take the phone call that also had really good bars of reception. It also is important that you have a good/clear microphone on your phone and don't put the phone on loud speaker as it can interfere with the clarity.

#2. Remove any distractions
To make sure that you can give your full attention to the questions being asked, and to not sound at all disrespectful and distracted, it is important to make sure that there is nothing that can distract you or take the attention away from you. I made sure to close my laptop, and put my husbands phone on silent, but about half an hour before the interview call I made the decision to go and sit up at the headland in my car. This was also because I find the ocean calming and is my go to place to think if I am needing to be with my thoughts.

#3. Know your stuff, and know your 'why'
For me the interview was about my cancer story and journey and how Canteen has helped me and can help others. Because the story is that of my own I didn't need to worry about a script as I know this, but I also was prepared in knowing some statistics that I was able to casually throw into the conversation without sounding scripted or forced.

#4. Don't have a piece of paper to read off of
I only say this purely for two reasons. Firstly, the rustle of the paper might prove to be an added noise and distraction; and secondly, it might sound forced rather than a naturally flowing conversation. If you need to know statistics maybe memorise them beforehand or put them on an iPad to read or better still put the paper on a clipboard so it doesn't move or rustle.

#5. Have a bottle of water handy
As with any speaking gig, you might need to keep your mouth and throat moistened to avoid coughing or sounding hoarse.

#6. If able to, ask what questions will be asked
This is important if talking about a sensitive subject that might bring up emotions or might be a question that is off the table to be asked. I had a very respectful interviewer who asked me prior if there were any topics or questions that I didn't want to talk about, such as mortality, but in true nature of my blog I said I am pretty open and transparent and that I didn't have any objections to what is discussed.

#7. Know the name of your interviewer
This is important for courtesy and respect, but you also don't want to look like a fool when you said the wrong person's name. The interviewer has taken the time to research you and your story and it is respectful to show the same courtesy in return.

I know these are only a handful of tips, but these really helped me in preparation for my interview and I hope they help you. Feel free to add your own tips in the comments too.

Also, keep an eye out on my facebook page for when the interview will be aired as I am not too sure yet.

P.S Not sure how to wear your bandanna or how to fold it? Click here for a HOW-TO printable guide

 I ask (if you feel inclined to) that if my blog or my writing has helped you or made  a difference in your life, please consider treating me to lunch or a mango  smoothie by clicking through to my paypal.me account.

 I am mostly housebound  so being able to go out for a nice treat would really help  make my day that little  bit brighter. Would also help me to feel appreciated too.

Posted by: Talya AT 08:48 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Monday, August 01 2016

Last year I heard about this incredible organisation called Share the dignity, which is a charity that helps to support homeless women and women in need when it comes to 'that time of the month'.

Their slogan is "no woman should have to choose between buying food or buying sanitary items", this really struck home for me.


Image courtesy of the Share the Dignity facebook page

When we often think of homeless or poverty we imagine people living on the streets, in their cars or in refuge shelters. But this isn't always true. You can have a roof over your head and be poor or poverty stricken.

According to the Australian Council of Social Services (ACOSS) there are 2.5 million Australians living under the poverty line, which for a country deemed 'the lucky country' that seems like an awful lot to me.

When the campaigns from share the dignity were being shared around on social media, there were comments that I observed that went along the lines of "that is an exaggeration surely, you aren't that poor that you can't afford pads or tampons or choose between that or eating"... as I said it was the general gist of the conversations going round.

But I know firsthand how stressful and hard it is when you do get your period and you honestly have to make the decision between buying pads or food... because it happened to me on several occassions.

When I was a teenager I felt embarrassed each month to ask for pads or tampons as I knew they were another expense we couldn't really afford (and I felt guilty asking). So when I got my first job I was rather elated that I could take responsibility for myself and I had money to buy pads and other personal care items I needed. I was independant and I didn't have to ask to buy them as I was in control of my own money.

I took living at home cheaply for granted and it wasn't until I moved out of home that I realised that rent and living expenses are so costly!

The day after graduating year 12 (Nov' 2008) I moved to Brisbane and was living in share housing. My rent was $100 a week and all the utilities were shared. I needed to pay for a train ticket to and from work and leading up to Christmas I had a lot of work and was doing okay... then Christmas came and went and the hours dropped to 8 hours a week which was $80 there about. I wasn't entitled to centrelink as my dad earned too much (even though he wasn't financially supporting me, it didn't matter to them). I was struggling to find another job and I was struggling to pay my rent and had to keep borrowing $20 off of a familly member each week to cover my rent. I didn't have money for food, I didn't have money for the train, I didn't have money for pads. I tried to stay at my boyfriend's house through the week so I could eat... it felt so humiliating!

Then my plans to study at university in QLD fell through, and I was offered a HECS supported place in Coffs Harbour so I moved. Centrelink finally offered me youth allowance which was $290 a fortnight. The house I was renting was $145 a week so my centrelink was consumed by my rent. I had to resort to borrowing $20 each week (off of family) so that I could buy food and pay for the bus to uni (I couldn't afford petrol). I tried so hard to find a job but I kept getting knocked back. I was a struggling uni student.

But there were times where I had to choose between food or pads, and it was a difficult decision. I have endometriosis so my periods were always rather heavy and it meant that I needed more than 1 packet of heavy pads each month, and I am allergic to pads but found the Libra overnight pads to irritate me the least (but they were costly)... but for that week that I had my period I was literally living off of those cups of noodles that you add hot water to and it cooks it... there were nights where my housemates took pity on me and would cook extra food that night so I could eat properly.

Then I moved into a cheaper share house where the rent was only $120 a week so out of my $290 a fortnight payment I now had $50 a fortnight. I felt so rich! I didn't have to call up family desperate for $20 anymore and my housemates cooked everynight and were happy if I gave them money towards groceries and they let me eat with them... also meant I had money for pads each month.

Unless you have been in that situation, you don't know how satisyfing and what a relief it feels to know that you don't have to choose that week between eating or buying pads.

At the end of 2009, my situation changed and I moved in with my then boyfriend (now husband) and his rent was only $180 a week so we went halves and it meant my fortnightly student allowance could go even further.

How you can help to share the dignity.....

So this August I ask you when you're next doing your groceries to buy an extra packet of pads or tampons and drop off to one of the Share the dignity collection points, so that they can be distributed to charities such as womens shelters to help women in need to have dignity when it comes to their period.

To find a collection point or learn more about what they do, visit their website.

P.S they also have a #itsinthebag initiative where they ask you to fill a handbag with a list of essential items and it is handed out to homeless women at Christmas. I am working on 3 of these handbags to pass on, these are handbags I was no longer using (and still in good condition) so what a better way to give them a new purpose! Find out more about this campaign here.


Image courtesy of their facebook group

 

 I ask (if you feel inclined to) that if my blog or my writing has helped you or made  a difference in your life, please consider treating me to lunch or a mango  smoothie by clicking through to my paypal.me account

 I am mostly housebound  so being able to go out for a nice treat would really help  make my day that little  bit brighter. Would also help me to feel appreciated too.

 

Posted by: Talya AT 02:10 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
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~  Living with Familial Adenomatous Polyposis - Effects of FAP  ~

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Talya Goding - Feeling Ostomistic   talya@feelingostomistic.com.au  |  0447 426 860

Thank you for stopping by Feeling Ostomistic. It has taken a lot of courage to share my story and I ask that you show me and my site/blog respect and courtesy. Views expressed in this blog are my own and I am not a nurse or a doctor. If you need medical advice please seek your medical practitioner.

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