Monday, January 08 2018
I know there has been a lot of posts around social media this past week (well, more so New Years Day) about the whole 'non resolutions' or how people were dropping the making resolutions as they either never stick or it makes people feel overwhelmed and anxious. This has something to do with the pressure placed on how it is a "new year new me" and that you internalise this pressure for the need to change yourself.... so it gets pretty depressing when it is the end of the year and you are yet to do one thing you set out to do.
Well, I know for me I get horribly depressed each December when I realise that none of my unrealistic/unattainable goals weren't met, and I feel like a bit of a failure and get pretty hard on myself.
So this year I plan on doing something a little different... I give up on each year setting myself the task of finding that million dollar idea (maybe if I don't try so hard I will find it), or to feel bad that I didn't finish my uni degree, or that I haven't got a hot bod (#sorrynotsorry).
I am choosing 18 ACHIEVABLE things I want to accomplish in 2018.
#1. Self Care:
I purchased the ebook version off Amazon and by a quarter of the way into the book I was astonished, I could have sworn it was me who had written this book as it was just so incredibly relatable. It definitely has me hooked!
Self care isn't necassarily just candle lit bubble baths with a glass of bubbly and reading a book, it can be a whole range of things. It could be doing things that make you happy, here is a post I wrote back in 2016 about 5 things to do each to add happiness or meaning to my day. You could choose to meditate or do yoga, could do a course or learn a new skill, could do something on your bucket list, could volunteer, do a random act of kindness, buy yourself flowers, get pampered, get your hair done or watch a movie or show.
#2. To read more:
So I have been so focussed on micro managing every part of my day/life that I would say I was too busy to read or I didn't have the time, but I vow this year to make time to read more. Whether it be the ebooks I have stored on my ipad or tablet, or going old fashioned and reading the amassed pile of books I have acculumated over the past few years. So starting with reading "The Self-care project" I am setting myself the challenge of either reading 1 book a month or 18 books this year.
Let's do this!
#3. To say No more:
In saying this though, there will be times where I say no simply because I am physically unable to do something due to pain or health, so I am sure this will cause more stress as some might think my health is an excuse? As I said, a challenge... but I am not putting my health at risk for a ridiculous deadline anymore.
#4. Reducing waste:
One of my favourite quotes from Gandhi is "Be the change you wish to see in the world". Change is hard and takes patience and a lot of baby steps, but you can't expect the world to be better or changed if you don't play a part yourself.
So I have ordered some produce reusable bags from my Sister-In Law's business which will mean no longer using single use plastic bags for produce. We also plan on using environment friendly bags in replace of plastic bags and I hope to get a compost happening too.... as I said it will be hard, but I do hope it will help the environment.
I feel guilty sometimes being an ostomate, because my base plate and bags aren't biodegradable (that I'm aware of) so even if I used bio degradable garbage bags and buried it, it still wouldn't break down and would be just the same as putting it in the bin. So I hate having a bag that leaks multiple times a day as it means a lot of ostomy products are used and thrown away, and I feel guilty that I am impacting the environment.... but it can't be helped.
So if I can make changes in other areas of my life, it hopefully makes up for it somehow?
#5. See the snow:
I had always hoped to get to the US or Canada and see this in person myself, but while that dream won't happen, I am happy to settle for somewhere in Australia where it snows, there is a romantic log cabin with a fire and somewhere Russ and I can unwind and relax.
I have heard him say almost daily the past month that he truly wants to experience this with me. Watching all the romantic Christmas movies helped I think, but it has had him rather upset realising too all the things he wants to experience with me but not sure if we will.
It is hard sometimes trying to squeeze 80 years of experiences into as much time as we have left.
If you have suggestions, do let me know, I can't fly so anywhere that is easily train accessible or short driving trips in NSW will be best.
#6. Learn something new:
I am doing a course right now cert 4 in screen and media and learning at the moment how to write children's stories.
#7. Write that damn book:
#8. Write a blog post a week:
#9. Write a journal:
All of these writing cues would be kind of life self care I guess, since it is cathartic and all.
#10. Regularly meet with a counsellor:
I guess this would come under self care and taking time for my needs too.
#11. Go Swimming:
Don't worry I plan on being sun safe and have my SPF50+ rashie from SunSoaked and my Sunbella parasol to help me too.
#12. Go Glamping:
#13. Have a holiday:
#14. Explore the Coast:
We still have bucket listing adventures for Brisbane, Sydney, Newcastle and beyond. I am just wanting to see so much!
I am just really hoping to see/experience new places this year.
#15. Renew our vows:
I had always said when we get to 10 years we would renew somewhere fun and overseas, but not sure that dream of international travel is managable or if I could make it to our 10 wedding anniversary.
#16. Get back on our feet financially:
We tried to apply to several other banks who all declined us because we didn't have savings (everything went into our house) and so we had hoped to even consolidate everything into one loan to make repayments easier and more affordable but were declined. Despite having equity in the property. It is hard to have savings when every cent is going into the house, our debt, living expenses, medical expenses and the list goes on.
I am just hoping this year we have better luck and if we can't at least consolidate everything that we can find a new bank for our home loan. I just want out of their grip, just like Britain wanted out of the EU. If we can get a new bank and debt consolidation everything will be more easier, we might even afford a mini holiday.
Part of this is finding a new bank too. I just want and need everything to be tidied up and managable ready for Russ to take over when I die.
#17. See a waterfall:
#18. Try to get my pain under control:
I spent the better part of last year struggling with my pain. I know my doctors are doing their best to manage it, but it really is hard and affects so many aspects of my life. It is debilitating, exhausting, it makes me frustrated and irritable, it messes with my mental health and it just sucks. It is hard to manage getting out of bed most days let alone manage an hour of getting out and about. I missed out on a lot last year and I don't want to miss out on life this year because of pain.
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I know it was a long post, but I thought 18 made sense since you know it is 2018 and all. I feel good that it is all written down but now overwhelmed, which is ironic, but I will do seperate posts throughout the year both here and on social media documenting how I go... it means I can hold myself accountable now since I have told you all about this.
My list honestly could have continued such as "yet to finish unpacking", "yet to manage that room makeover" and so on. I just decided to choose things that will either improve my life, bring me joy or are somewhat achievable for this year.... and if I win the lotto that is a bonus!
Russ asked me what I have been writing/working on the past couple of days, he then rattled off a list of 18 things he *felt* I should do instead which all involved him and were very much Russ focussed or specific. I laughed and said, your list kind of defeats the purpose of several things on my list like taking time for me and saying no and putting me first.
To be fair, his list was most of what I do anyway which was:
Here's hoping 2018 is a good year and that I can do some of these things if not all. Despite spending over 80% of the year in bed last year, the times I did bucket list stuff or was out and about are some of my most cherished memories looking back, those memories I remember on my bad days.
I wish you a HNY2018 and wishing you health, love, success, happiness and clarity this year.
Thank you for reading, feel free to share something you hope to do this year in the comments below:
Wednesday, October 04 2017
“Be the change you wish to see in the world”
We all know that at some point our lives will end, but what we do in our life and how we live could be a legacy that we are leaving that would continue to live on well after we have died.
It is hard at times knowing that my end is coming, given my terminal prognosis and that I am living with the knowledge that I could have 6-12months. I do know that a year ago I didn't think I would still be here, but I am. So I am making the most of every single day.
However, leaving a legacy is at the forefront of my mind.
Everyday I wonder: "will I be forgotten?"
I have so many thoughts racing through my mind every minute of the day, these are just some.
One thing that I worry though is if my life meant anything or if I mattered... it might sound like a strange thing to think about or it might sound like a self-centred narcissistic thing, but it is hard somedays wondering "why me?".
So leaving a legacy and living a life that I am truly proud of is something of importance to me
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One thing that I have known and believed since I was a teenager was that I had a purpose in life and that was: "to make a difference or to change one person's life", so I have tried to live life with this desire to help behind every action - including my blog and magazine.
I was pretty excited to have been asked by Share the Dignity to write about legacies and living a life with a purpose. This is a piece I offered up as a volunteer contribution (I was not paid or incentivised in any way), this is a charity I have been passionate about supporting for the last couple of years and one that I know how important/needed their work is.
If you would like to read my article click here. (Feel free to leave a comment if it has helped you or if you liked it)
Share the Dignity have their annual It's in the bag campaign coming up where people are asked to donate a handbag or backpack that is in good condition and fill it with items such as pads, tampons, toiletries and more. To learn more click here...
Being a Volunteer, despite being terminally ill:
Last year I did two backpacks for teenage girls and filled with items I had collected since the Xmas prior. To find out about how I put together 2 bags on a budget, click here.
I decided to sign up as a volunteer and collect the bags and deliver to the respective charities in the area. At one point I had over 300 handbags in my house. Two guest bedrooms were chock-a-block full of handbags and backpacks and there were a trail from the front door leading through the house!
It was an incredible experience and very overwhelming, only that I struggled with energy and pain and couldn't carry much so Russ stepped up for me and helped to deliver everything. Russ also helped me to check each bag for all the essentials and make sure that each bag had pads etc.
I was pretty proud of the work from our community.
Russ and I were delivering bags to a youth refuge and the owner/manager was in tears. One of the girls came out and helped Russ and I carry the bags and she said: " Thank you for doing this, you have no idea how much it means to me to know that strangers do care, that someone believes in me".
Another charity we were delivering to (was our 2nd delivery there that day as the car only fits so many bags) came running out of the charity as she had just received her bag and she hugged me and was crying and said "this were the best gift she had ever received".
I am so happy that an incredible organisation that is Share the Dignity exists, I wish I could have done more to help but I donate pads when I can to their April and August drives and the #itsinthebag. I love that Russ got involved and was a champ in helping me last year, sadly I am not in good enough health to volunteer for a second year but I am trying my best to get a bag together when I can.
I know there were times in my life where pads were a luxury and it meant going without food, it is no exaggeration at all, I am not ashamed of that point in my life I was simply trying my best, but do consider in your next grocery shop to grab a packet of pads/tampons and keep aside for the #itsinthebag campaign, even if you can't afford to do a bag but can donate pads that would be incredibly appreciated and it does make a difference.
If you were interested in volunteering for the it's in the bag campaigns click here, it truly was a hard yet rewarding experience. Or if you can't collect the bags consider offering your workplace as a collection point!
There are always opportunities all around us to help make a difference to someone else's life.
I know that even if you think it is a small act of kindness and that it wouldn't be noticed, it could in fact be a huge thing to that person and be the reason that hope is restored.