Monday, January 08 2018
I know there has been a lot of posts around social media this past week (well, more so New Years Day) about the whole 'non resolutions' or how people were dropping the making resolutions as they either never stick or it makes people feel overwhelmed and anxious. This has something to do with the pressure placed on how it is a "new year new me" and that you internalise this pressure for the need to change yourself.... so it gets pretty depressing when it is the end of the year and you are yet to do one thing you set out to do.
Well, I know for me I get horribly depressed each December when I realise that none of my unrealistic/unattainable goals weren't met, and I feel like a bit of a failure and get pretty hard on myself.
So this year I plan on doing something a little different... I give up on each year setting myself the task of finding that million dollar idea (maybe if I don't try so hard I will find it), or to feel bad that I didn't finish my uni degree, or that I haven't got a hot bod (#sorrynotsorry).
I am choosing 18 ACHIEVABLE things I want to accomplish in 2018.
#1. Self Care:
I purchased the ebook version off Amazon and by a quarter of the way into the book I was astonished, I could have sworn it was me who had written this book as it was just so incredibly relatable. It definitely has me hooked!
Self care isn't necassarily just candle lit bubble baths with a glass of bubbly and reading a book, it can be a whole range of things. It could be doing things that make you happy, here is a post I wrote back in 2016 about 5 things to do each to add happiness or meaning to my day. You could choose to meditate or do yoga, could do a course or learn a new skill, could do something on your bucket list, could volunteer, do a random act of kindness, buy yourself flowers, get pampered, get your hair done or watch a movie or show.
#2. To read more:
So I have been so focussed on micro managing every part of my day/life that I would say I was too busy to read or I didn't have the time, but I vow this year to make time to read more. Whether it be the ebooks I have stored on my ipad or tablet, or going old fashioned and reading the amassed pile of books I have acculumated over the past few years. So starting with reading "The Self-care project" I am setting myself the challenge of either reading 1 book a month or 18 books this year.
Let's do this!
#3. To say No more:
In saying this though, there will be times where I say no simply because I am physically unable to do something due to pain or health, so I am sure this will cause more stress as some might think my health is an excuse? As I said, a challenge... but I am not putting my health at risk for a ridiculous deadline anymore.
#4. Reducing waste:
One of my favourite quotes from Gandhi is "Be the change you wish to see in the world". Change is hard and takes patience and a lot of baby steps, but you can't expect the world to be better or changed if you don't play a part yourself.
So I have ordered some produce reusable bags from my Sister-In Law's business which will mean no longer using single use plastic bags for produce. We also plan on using environment friendly bags in replace of plastic bags and I hope to get a compost happening too.... as I said it will be hard, but I do hope it will help the environment.
I feel guilty sometimes being an ostomate, because my base plate and bags aren't biodegradable (that I'm aware of) so even if I used bio degradable garbage bags and buried it, it still wouldn't break down and would be just the same as putting it in the bin. So I hate having a bag that leaks multiple times a day as it means a lot of ostomy products are used and thrown away, and I feel guilty that I am impacting the environment.... but it can't be helped.
So if I can make changes in other areas of my life, it hopefully makes up for it somehow?
#5. See the snow:
I had always hoped to get to the US or Canada and see this in person myself, but while that dream won't happen, I am happy to settle for somewhere in Australia where it snows, there is a romantic log cabin with a fire and somewhere Russ and I can unwind and relax.
I have heard him say almost daily the past month that he truly wants to experience this with me. Watching all the romantic Christmas movies helped I think, but it has had him rather upset realising too all the things he wants to experience with me but not sure if we will.
It is hard sometimes trying to squeeze 80 years of experiences into as much time as we have left.
If you have suggestions, do let me know, I can't fly so anywhere that is easily train accessible or short driving trips in NSW will be best.
#6. Learn something new:
I am doing a course right now cert 4 in screen and media and learning at the moment how to write children's stories.
#7. Write that damn book:
#8. Write a blog post a week:
#9. Write a journal:
All of these writing cues would be kind of life self care I guess, since it is cathartic and all.
#10. Regularly meet with a counsellor:
I guess this would come under self care and taking time for my needs too.
#11. Go Swimming:
Don't worry I plan on being sun safe and have my SPF50+ rashie from SunSoaked and my Sunbella parasol to help me too.
#12. Go Glamping:
#13. Have a holiday:
#14. Explore the Coast:
We still have bucket listing adventures for Brisbane, Sydney, Newcastle and beyond. I am just wanting to see so much!
I am just really hoping to see/experience new places this year.
#15. Renew our vows:
I had always said when we get to 10 years we would renew somewhere fun and overseas, but not sure that dream of international travel is managable or if I could make it to our 10 wedding anniversary.
#16. Get back on our feet financially:
We tried to apply to several other banks who all declined us because we didn't have savings (everything went into our house) and so we had hoped to even consolidate everything into one loan to make repayments easier and more affordable but were declined. Despite having equity in the property. It is hard to have savings when every cent is going into the house, our debt, living expenses, medical expenses and the list goes on.
I am just hoping this year we have better luck and if we can't at least consolidate everything that we can find a new bank for our home loan. I just want out of their grip, just like Britain wanted out of the EU. If we can get a new bank and debt consolidation everything will be more easier, we might even afford a mini holiday.
Part of this is finding a new bank too. I just want and need everything to be tidied up and managable ready for Russ to take over when I die.
#17. See a waterfall:
#18. Try to get my pain under control:
I spent the better part of last year struggling with my pain. I know my doctors are doing their best to manage it, but it really is hard and affects so many aspects of my life. It is debilitating, exhausting, it makes me frustrated and irritable, it messes with my mental health and it just sucks. It is hard to manage getting out of bed most days let alone manage an hour of getting out and about. I missed out on a lot last year and I don't want to miss out on life this year because of pain.
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I know it was a long post, but I thought 18 made sense since you know it is 2018 and all. I feel good that it is all written down but now overwhelmed, which is ironic, but I will do seperate posts throughout the year both here and on social media documenting how I go... it means I can hold myself accountable now since I have told you all about this.
My list honestly could have continued such as "yet to finish unpacking", "yet to manage that room makeover" and so on. I just decided to choose things that will either improve my life, bring me joy or are somewhat achievable for this year.... and if I win the lotto that is a bonus!
Russ asked me what I have been writing/working on the past couple of days, he then rattled off a list of 18 things he *felt* I should do instead which all involved him and were very much Russ focussed or specific. I laughed and said, your list kind of defeats the purpose of several things on my list like taking time for me and saying no and putting me first.
To be fair, his list was most of what I do anyway which was:
Here's hoping 2018 is a good year and that I can do some of these things if not all. Despite spending over 80% of the year in bed last year, the times I did bucket list stuff or was out and about are some of my most cherished memories looking back, those memories I remember on my bad days.
I wish you a HNY2018 and wishing you health, love, success, happiness and clarity this year.
Thank you for reading, feel free to share something you hope to do this year in the comments below:
Friday, August 21 2015
NB: This post is an entry for the Heritage Bank Savvy Blogger Awards please click on the icon at the bottom of this post, to vote for Feeling Ostomistic and you could be in the running to win $100 and help me to win a share of $11k which I want to use towards my chemo (and medical costs) coming up. Would mean a lot if you could support me.
Without a doubt you might have heard about the extremely over-the-top wedding in Sydney recently, if you haven't you may have been living under a rock... in that case I will summarise it for you. This super rich couple had a wedding which they closed down entire streets in Sydney causing traffic chaos, and their wedding car fleet involved cars worth a collective of $50 million dollars, as well as hiring helicopters, sea planes... but to have a nice wedding do you NEED to spend millions?
I remember when I was planning my wedding years ago I wanted to have the big white wedding, and I was panicking at the cost it was all coming to (something like $10k+) and so was my husband well then fiance... and very quickly the wedding planning was becomming more about pleasing everyone else and catering to their needs rather than creating a day that was perfect for my husband and I.
Because of how much our wedding was going to cost we were planning it for 2 (almost 3) years away. But then something happened (rather fate as you might call it) and in the middle of June my then fiance (who struggles with large numbers of crowds and public performance) was rather overwhelmed with the wedding guest numbers and gave me an ultimatum....
He said either we get married in a month at the courthouse or we don't get married at all!
So I said that I will change our plans and organise a wedding in 4 weeks on a limited budget as long as we have a nice honeymoon and I get to have a nice 21st 2 years later and it be the wedding reception I had of hoped for....
Let's clear one thing up... there was no way I was getting married in the courthouse and I knew I had to plan a nice low-key wedding that was still memorable, that my husband would agree too and decided to make it as nice as I possibly could on a limited budget....
All in all, our wedding cost us just under $2500 and that was including everything!
Here are 10 ways I helped to save money on my wedding in under 4 weeks of planning, and I don't regret it at all!
#1 the dress = $220
#2 the tux = $250 (including jacket, pants, tie, vest & shirt)
#3 the wedding bands = $300 for both
#4 the celebrant and photographer = $1200
#5 writing my own wedding ceremony = Priceless
#6 2 tier wedding cake = $200
#7 bouquet of flowers = $30
#8 Flower girl dresses = $50 each
#9 Food at the reception (free for us)
#10 Venue hire (free)
More ways to save on your wedding..
While it may seem like my wedding was rushed (honestly had 4-5 weeks to plan it) I am so glad that I got married when I did rather than waiting until 2012 like we initially planned on getting married, as this meant my dad was able to walk me down the aisle and be there on my wedding day (not long after our wedding he was diagnosed with terminal Bowel Cancer, and passed away in March 2012).... I now have memories I will forever cherish from that day and conversations had (that still make me laugh). I don't regret have a cheaper low-key wedding, and after 5 years of wedded bliss this year, only proves that you don't need an expensive wedding to make a happy marriage.... also saving costs where possible meant we could go on a nice honeymoon to Hamilton Island for a week.
One last tip... A wise person told me before my wedding that I needed to savour every moment of the day and take it all in, as the day goes rather quickly especially when you're excited, and you don't want to miss out.... they also went on to say that if you make it back to your hotel suite and you are too tired (or drunk) to consumate your marriage, that it is okay and not to feel pressured that you HAVE to do it on that night... there is always the next morning and you have your whole marriage to worry about that (hehe).
Hope some of my tips shared can help you on your wedding planning, if you have a tip for others feel free to share it in the comments below.